How to get free club entry-passes (the chronicle of the club addict)
1Since you’re an addict and you go out in a rhythm, some might call you even “desperate”, so you might as well continue to do it. The best thing you could probably do is make friends with the club owners. Ask to meet them, make them all the compliments you can think of, tell them that your parents’ fortune has been invested in their business and you're just waiting to see what comes out of it. You might get your wanted free entries or you might get a cold shoulder. It’s all up to you. Or if it does not work -
2Make friends with the bodyguards at the entry. I don’t know where you could start from, since I believe any of your kinsmen have tried that approach before. Go out for a smoke and start some friendly conversation on any topic. You may want to establish an exchange-type relationship. If you’re a sales assistant in real life tell them you will be giving them a discount (if they to let you in for free).You might get what you want or you might get a fist in the face and a restriction for that particular club. It’s all up to you. Of it does not work -
3Try to make friends with a famous character (from a DJ to a porn star, anything works!) That is most likely to be the key for success. Not only will you get into every possible club for free, but depending on the fame scale of your new buddy, even if they can't take friends with them for free, chances are that they are willing to pay for your entrance in order to have you as a guest (okay, I may be overdoing it now). You might get what you want or you might end up with a restriction order (Again, damn it!). It’s all up to you. If it does not work -
4Just go to the club where you want to get in and refuse to leave the premises until you have achieved your goal. Be sure to have a pack of cigarettes with you. While you smoke and wait, anything might happen. You might pick up a girl with an extra invite in her purse, slip into a group with invites pretending you’re one of them, or just win the hearts of the bodyguards (or their pity after some four hours spent in the cold). You might get what you want or you might get a terrible cold and that’s it. It’s all up to you. If it does not work -
5Depending on the event, journalists and photographers often end up getting invites to bigger events. Why not think of that beforehand and actually become one. Sometimes it even works just to be a friend of a journalist who often doesn't have a photographer nearby to take with him – he'll happily take you instead. Been there, done that.
6Try joining the Anonymous group for Club addicts. Share your pain. Make your story dramatic enough to have them cry. You can even fall off the chair during a meeting pretending you are dead in order to prove the degree of your addiction. Someone might take pity on you and give you some free entry passes (taking into consideration that you have no more money in your account after the last clubbing session). You might get what you want or you might end up with a terrible cold and that’s it. It’s all up to you. If it does not work -
7If you are a woman, move to Italy! I heard that Italians have ladies always getting in for free in any club. As a bonus you can count on free drinks. Say hello to pizza and tagliatelle! Or if you are a man, mmm, well, try staying at home and watching a movie!