The best ways to get free gifts

Created by tom 2009-12-08 16:18:32
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How do you call it when you receive free stuff? You might be tempted to say “a commercial promotion” or “it's election time”. Well, that just proves how deeply into the consumer society you have sunk. It’s called a “gift”, d’oh!

Here are some ways of getting gifts:
Celebrate your birthday. Throw a party at your house. Make your parents pay for the party. Promote the event on Facebook. Make a nice flyer. Bring in a friend to put on some nice music. Impose a dress code. People will be excited that finally something is going on and will probably shower you with gifts.

Celebrate your birthday again. This time invite all the relatives. And the relatives of the relatives. Make sure your mum calls everybody, neighbours included. The mechanism is the same as before, with the difference that you will have to skip the Facebook part. You risk extreme boredom and extremely surprising gifts, just to put it in a nice way.

Celebrate your birthday again. And again. And again. Make sure to invite different people each time and change the location. You could perhaps use this trick four times a year. Sooner or later you will start investing some money in the party, or at least the alcohol you offer your friends, but the total cost of the gifts you receive will outweigh the total costs of the investments you make in the process. After doing the maths I’m sure there is going to be enough free stuff for you to be satisfied.

Celebrate your name day! In Europe they do that. They don’t do it where you’re from? There’s a start for everything in life. Facebook is once again a good PR instrument.

Offer yourself to organise the Christmas party. Naturally you will be doing the coordinating and the communication. Other people are required to bring the food and the drinks. Make sure to make a fuss about each and every detail. Constantly remind everybody how stressful the process is. Make sure that you actually do what you promised to do. When the party time comes, people must be happy with the result and feel either admiration or pity for you. I believe you will get some extra gifts in the end.

Warning
At this point you’ve been doing so much party organising in your life that there are several risks I must remind you of: you risk becoming an alcoholic. People love parties because they get to drink and drink some more.

You being the centre of attention will have no escape but to drink just as much as them. Ruining your liver will have you pay a rough price for medicines and not only. You might consider putting all the gifts aside for later. After all, you could sell them and get the money for the medicine. Another risk is losing your job. Organizing all those parties takes time and commitment. But at this point you have so much experience that you might as well change a career and become a professional party organiser. Previous risks aside, it’s the best job in the world!
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